Monday, April 4, 2011

The Vortex

Okay, I admit it. I really have very little idea what a 'vortex' actually is.
I think it's supposed to be something that sucks you in whether you like it or not.
Like you're going down the drain.
A wild and powerful force
on the edge of uncontrollable.

Five weeks remain until we hit the friendly skies once again. The to-do lists are growing everyday with things to stock up on, de-plastify, carefully weigh in 50-lb. increments, and insure for the long-haul. Random things on my shopping list to give you the gist:
Bag zapper tennis rackets
Multi-vitamins that expire after 2013
Math curriculum for 2012-2013 school year
4 laptops for Kent's work

If only I could buy me some peaceful TIME to do all this shopping...

'The experts', not sure who they are exactly, say that to completely unpack your emotional bags to live in a different place takes about SIX MONTHS. So, this time around, at only 5, we knew we wouldn't get that far. Trouble is, over the last wonderful 12 years together, we've only passed 6 months in the same house a few times. So this THING. This process of folding up your life in packable bits, moving it across the world... or across town, and unfolding it once again... This process is TRANSITION. And it is where we live.

In one of our orientation classes, a wise instructor gave us a gift.
A piece of paper really.
It's our emotional road map.
It lays out the emotional process of transition.
First, the folding up and shutting down.
Then the chaos in between.
Finally, the unfolding...
making mistakes.
Learning to trust.

We hang that roadmap on our bathroom door and often look at it and find ourselves in our relative processes. Such a relief to know that anxiety at this stage is normal. We have gotten to the point of taking it down once or twice, but usually it just lives on the bathroom door. Pointing us to the path ahead. Making our exit. Making our entrance. This path we walk... in transition. Following in dusty, bloodied footprints. Putting off the old life. Putting on the new. Maybe it's just good practice...

I call TRANSITION a vortex, because it seems to suck you in without asking. It feels like everything is powerfully out of control.

But it isn't.

This whirlwind of moving chaos has limits.

God holds it in his hands and does not let us spin out of control. He keeps our hearts pumping, minds thinking, friends praying. He holds us close. All else in the material world is packed, shipped or tossed away.

But we will always have HIM. And He is far more powerful than our little vortex.


Allie said...

This was a wonderful post, Kim! Know that I will be praying for you:) So after you've left (the usa) are you still going to be writing on you blog? I sure hope so!

Dinah Claire said...

I love the way you write and what you say. I am so glad you write.

a pilgrim said...

Hi Kim, I really enjoyed your blog post this week, and we'll be praying for you & Kent and the kids as you prepare to re-enter "the vortex."

I found this verse that seemed pertinent:

"The LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty.

"His way is in whirlwind and storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet," Nahum 1:3

Shelley L. Houston said...

Nice blog, Kim. I'm praying for your transition. Also, I'm guessing that you are packing "bug" zappers??? :^)