Friday, May 18, 2012

Nostalgia & Pain - Part I

That old familiar friend stopped by this afternoon.

Nostalgia visits often, but particularly around landmark events.

Next week is the end of this school year. Ah, how much we have all learned.

The end of this school year marks the end of me teaching a preschooler (I always dreaded the preschool years - I so enjoy the thinking of ages 8, 9 and 10. So after more than 6 years of preschoolers around, what will I miss ?) Ah, these years were so much more fun than I feared.

It also marks the end of our last full school year in one place for a while. Next year is another 'on the road' year. Ah, this peace has been good.

So many milestones. The inches gained. The words written, rehearsed and practiced again. And sometimes still misspelled. Oh how it's hard to watch them struggle. Oh, what a joy when they succeed.

As the home manager, it will take me months to emotionally and physically move out of this house by the end of this year. We will have lived here almost 4 consecutive years! This is the longest we have ever lived anywhere. And it feels more our home than any place we have ever lived. And I don't mean 'our home' only because we did all the ceilings, wiring, plumbing and tiling ourselves. . .

Our home rich in memories. Our home with tropical bugs flying through, dust piling up everywhere, visitors chatting on the porch, a gorgeous garden, swing in the tree, socks lost under the couch and children growing up. Their height scrawled on the hallway corner: Mom, how tall am I now? Their favorite nooks and crannies for curling up with a book. These things don't pack well.

But Time, he doesn't wait around. There is always some end or beginning around the corner. And I don't want to spend today on tomorrow.

Anyway, Nostalgia and I aren't quite ready to treasure up all these fabulous memories and move on. The pain is fresh.

But then we don't have to.

Not just yet.

--- shared on Velvet Ashes link up ---


Kelly Hallahan said...

We're just beginning our first four-year term. And I am so looking forward to making memories in this house! Thanks for sharing!

Danielle said...

I can practically feel your pain. Thank you for sharing Nostalgia with us. Yes, some things don't pack well. Glad you're grieving the pain and loss but not dwelling in them. So, so glad you've joined us at Velvet Ashes!

HisFireFly said...

"Time doesn't wait around"
yes. yes, this!