Monday, May 21, 2012

Rats & Bats & ZZZs

Okay, according to wikipedia bats aren't rodents. But rats and bats sure seem to be in the same family to me. We'll climb the family tree and call them all mammals.

Bats live in our attic, correction, bats live in almost every attic here. They scamper about the midnight skies eating delicious mosquitoes all night. This would work well if it weren't for two facts:

1) The mosquitoes ate us first at dusk.
2) They can be clumsy getting out of bed (and therefore flop all over my ceilings).

There have only been 2-3 times where they got into the house, (WALKED ACROSS THE FLOOR! - I really didn't want to know they could walk in a sneaky little rodentia way), and other than noise we have coexisted quite happily for over 3 years.

Then there's rats.
Rats are worse because they don't eat bugs, they eat your food.
And the labels on your canned goods.
And the tinfoil you were saving for art projects.
And the dog food.
And your clean clothes.
And the Diet Coke.
And the fruit juice you thought was in fool proof containers.
And the wire screens covering your windows.
And the bars of laundry soap for next week.
And the Tupperware you thought was rat-proof.
Insert just about anything....
Those big little teeth?
They can chew it!

We have been trying to evict Famille Rat from our back porch this week. My bed is next door. Did you know that rats can screech? I didn't. Well they can. I imagine the rats from Ratatouille whistling the signal to their 200 cousins to rush to a new food source. Maybe it's code.

In the middle of the night the mosquitoes hum in my ear (after sneaking under the net somehow), while the bats flap on the ceiling overhead, while the rat screeches out directions to the best snack on the porch. Add a mosque next door, overnight worship service down the street, and the occasional thunder and lightning, and you have  yourself a hellish midnight orchestra. All these noises align every 50 nights or so to prevent rest of any kind.

No ZZZs for me!
Thankfully, the other 49 nights keep me going.


Starlene said...

Hi - in your about page you say that you don't offer personal contact information but to leave a comment or contact by email. I'd like to email you, but there doesn't seem to be an email address available anywhere. I was wondering if you would be interested in being a guest on my Blog Talk Radio show GAPS Journey. I interviewed Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride in April 2011 and have been interviewing folks seeing success on the GAPS Diet and wanted to know if you would like to share your GAPS story? My show is here if you want to check it out: I am looking for guests later in June and July and we can connect by Skype. Thanks in advance for your time and consideration.

Mrs. bradlie said...

Rest well in the LORD.